Prenups: I Do or I Don’t?
“Don’t get mad, get everything.” - Ivana Trump, Donald’s ex
The Frugal Law Student has written about whether prenups are a good idea or not. The post was inspired by Kanye West’s song Gold Digger which goes: “If you ain’t no punk holla, ‘We want prenup!’”
Prenups are in and out of water-cooler discussions depending on which celebrity divorce is in action. The Paul McCartney/Heather Mills split was all through the tabloids, and their lack of a prenup resulted in a reportedly hefty payout from Mr Beatle, although according to her he turned her prenup offer down flat before they married.
What is a Prenup?
According to Wikipedia: A prenuptial agreement or antenuptial agreement, commonly abbreviated to prenup, is a contract entered into by two people prior to marriage or civil union.
Reasons for a Prenup
- If one person has considerably more money/assets than their spouse, it protects them
- It also takes into consideration any children you may have together or from previous marriages and how they will be cared for
- Divorce statistics aren’t pretty in most western countries - usually 50% or higher
- You both have a say in how your assets will be divided/shared
- Discussing a prenup near the beginning of a relationship can help you communicate about what’s important and what you both want for the future
Reasons against a prenup
- It’s unromantic. You’re starting your life together; you don’t want to talk about how it will end!
- It’s programming negative thinking. What if discussing the end becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy?
- Circumstances may change and you may forget to update the prenup.
- You may not consider divorcing an option (for religious reasons, for example)
I personally am not against the idea of a prenup. I’ve become a fan of laying out finances and assets on the table, analyzing them and discussing the future. If both parties are in agreement, then to me it’s just like another kind of insurance that helps protect you, your partner and your family in the future. Once the papers are signed, get back to the romance with a candlelit dinner!
Famous Celebrity Prenups/Lack of Prenups
- Michael Douglas had to split his multi-million dollar fortune with his wife of 23 years, Diandra. He and his current wife Catherine Zeta-Jones have a prenup with a reported $5 million automatic ‘bonus’ for her if he’s unfaithful.
- Donald Trump has been married three times. Wife #1, Ivana, got $14 million in cash, plus substantial child support, alimony and properties. Wife #2, Marla, got $1 million in cash simply because their prenup had a four-year clause and Donald served papers weeks before the deadline after she had an affair with a bodyguard. Wife #3, Melania, is still married to The Don but bets are high they have an iron-clad prenup deal.
- King Henry VIII and his six wives. Well, they died of natural causes, were beheaded, or divorced and sent into exile in draughty rural castles.
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Thursday, July 5th, 2007 at 12:53 pm
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You missed one important reason against a prenup - if there is a power imbalance between the parties. For example, if I was going to leave my career to raise the family etc and my husband was earning a lot more than me then, if the law of my country would give me more than I would get a a prenup (as is the case often in NZ), there is NO WAY I would sign a prenup.
July 6th, 2007 at 1:41 pmTrue. I guess it’s the opposite of the point I made in ‘Reasons for..’ A prenup can protect one person but leave the other more vulnerable.
NZ definitely has generous laws for those in long-term relationships. You don’t even have to be married, just live together for at least two years. I’m all in favor of protecting people in domestic situations but the 50/50 clause can be a little harsh if there are no kids involved. That’s why I think a prenup can be a good idea - as long as both parties are in agreement.
July 6th, 2007 at 3:49 pm