Blog Minx

Carrie in Sex and the City sure had a dream job: she got to write one newspaper column a week about her sexy social life and her friends, and made enough money from it to live alone in a decent one-bedroom apartment in New York, attend glitzy soirees every second night in a new outfit, indulge her passion for $400 Manolo Blahnik shoes and yet never break a sweat over the monthly credit card bills. The closest I saw her come to doing anything resembling work was crinkling her forehead over the (Apple) laptop for an hour a week as she typed out life’s burning questions like: Are We Sluts?

Clearly I’m just a bitter freelancer who’s paid a pittance for her Pulitzer-quality copy. But there’s more to it: just check out this article from Career Builder, detailing the salaries many of our favourite TV characters would earn in the real world. The salaries, insists the article, would not cover Carrie’s wild spending ways. Breaking News: TV lies!

But do we need the lies? Giving TV characters mediocre jobs and low salaries can destroy the dreams of today’s youth, according to this BBC article. They need role models, and bleak British soaps are not delivering anything except maybe some steak and chips and today’s paper.

So the secrets to making a lot of money are*:

• Become a TV character (this step may sound ludicrous but is essential to completing the rest of the steps).
• Write a column, or write books, like Susan on Desperate Housewives. Never actually work, just say that’s what you do, and the money will appear.
• Spend the money on the most expensive shoes, clothes, cars, and real estate. When you lose these items in a fire/accident/drug scandal/marriage breakup, buy more.
• Avoid investing or saving. You’re not real, so you don’t need to think about the future.

* Disclaimer: No realistic tips currently available.

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